Never Will I Ever

"I’ll give you my all—every shameful, imperfect part of me—and I can only hope it’s worth a fraction of you.” In Never Will I Ever, Avery is expelled from college and as a way to find his way back he's forced to be a camp counselor for the summer. But when he's paired up with Kaleb, the guy who used to be his friend before a betrayal of trust, his intentions start to change. The more time they spend together, the more the tension rises until they're forced to confront their past and all the secrets they hold until that tension changes into something very different. "You silenced the deafening screams, taught me how to lock up the darkness and finally let in the light.” Avery is very unlikeable in Don't You Dare. But getting to know him and see his vulnerabilities and the ways in which he grows during this book makes you reevaluate your feelings towards him. Honestly, it didn't take me very long to start liking him. He's like a wounded bird and you can't help but care about him and want to help him find his way forward, which is exactly what Kaleb does. Kaleb has the kindest heart and though he tries to hold onto his hatred for Avery, he was just like me and started to care pretty quickly. "I’ll never ask you for perfection. All I want is to be the hand you reach for when things get difficult.” I also love how involved the campers are in this story, especially Eli and Kaleb's brothers. Eli's friendship with Avery was one of my favorite things about this book and I loved…

…and overcoming instilled shame instilled by those who are supposed to love us unconditionally are the main themes in this book. We met Avery and Kaleb in “book 1, “Don’t You Dare?” Avery comes across as a bigoted homophobe who targeted his fellow teammate Keene and his bestie Aspen. As a result he was expelled from the college where he was a pitcher on the baseball team. Kaleb is also a member of the same team and had been friends with Avery until he began his war against his fellow teammate. As a ploy to get back into school and graduate, Avery’s father comes up with a plan that forces Avery to work as a counselor at a summer camp run by the Dean’s brother. Add in a couple dozen 11 year old camp kids, one of which is the Dean’s son, Elijah, and the book highlights the growth of Avery as a mentor. Elijah is one of the best supporting characters in the book. As are Kaleb’s 11 year old twin brothers, Colton and Dayton. Unknown to Avery, Kaleb is also a counselor at the camp. Which makes this a friends to enemies to lovers book. There are plenty of humorous moments in the book, as well as chock full of the poignant moments where Avery struggles with his sexuality, always hearing the slurs his father has voiced, playing on a continuous loop in his mind. There is finally closure between Keene and Avery, where much has been forgiven. Aspen is, well…Aspen. He doesn’t forgive easily. The character growth Avery must endure before finding a HEA is painful, yet necessary for…